"Because you're just too stupid to know what you're doing until then."

Thank you, Mrs. B.  I officially love my Creative Writing teacher just because of that.  Seriously, I could gag myself with a spoon the amount of times I've heard the crummy excuse that "I just don't want to die alone." It makes me bloody sick.  If you think you're going to die alone, then get some bloody friends.  I can't stand how people think just because they don't have a "lover" that they're alone.  I had a boyfriend, and it was the loneliest time in my life.  a;oeripuoiasdjf

And just because I don't like the idea of boyfriends and all of the bull crap that comes with it, doesn't mean I don't like guys!  I like guys very much.  In fact, there's a particular one that has caught my interest recently, but because he fits in the category that every other guy I've liked has (AKA: older than me, completely out of my league) I'm realistic about it.  I'm just glad to talk to him every now and again... Nothing's going to happen, and it's no big deal to me.

Anyways...yeah.  I got PO'd today because Kerns - this boy who crushed on me long ago and probably still does now - gets all uppity about my view on relationships and how one of my closest friends is in his thirties and still doesn't have a girlfriend.  "That's sad.  Is he going to die alone?" Heck no he isn't!  He has his friends, at least!  Sure...that's probably not his view on the matter...but it's mine.

fjpjklasgoijaweri

Anyways... I did not enjoy the day very much at all.  I came home and talked to Mom about how my day went like usual.  And one of the first things I said was "I'm an actor.  I acted the whole day through." Because, really, that's what it felt like.  I felt so fake...forcing a smile when all my thoughts were on other things and worries.  Ugh...

For the first time in my entire life, I woke up late on the first day of school.  I have never done that before.  I always get those first day jitters that have me up at four in the morning, but instead, I woke up at seven.  I honestly didn't care this morning.  And I doubt it's going to change.

Urgh...I have such a headache right now it's not even funny.  I want to draw....but I can't concentrate.  oapruoijasdfoie