Blurbs of a Redhead

Brickfish

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:24:24 GMT

Hey guys. I- er, need your help. ^^; If you could take the time to vote for my entries on brickfish, I'd really appreciate it. The first one "Finding My Path" was at rank 89 earlier today, but it's moved back up, so I'm kind of just asking everyone I know to take the time to vote whenever they have the chance. You can vote about every twenty minutes or so, but if you could all just vote once a day or every other day or even just once, it'd help out a lot. ^^; Even just going to view the picture helps promote it. So...help please?

Story of My Life
Brickfish

Recession Expression Photo Challenge
Brickfish

My Favorite Photo (I've Ever Taken)
Brickfish

There's something I have to get off my chest...

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:18:27 GMT

I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD!

That is all. Thank you.

Bored - What's Your Personality Type?

Sat, 02 May 2009 04:59:33 GMT

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are a creative person with a great imagination. You enjoy living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close to you.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.
You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

Hmmm... I guess I can believe the majority of this... ....okay, yeah, this probably hit the nail on the head. -.-

Going to bed now...really tired.

I'm Pretty Sure This is a Crime in Idaho

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:28:38 GMT

First off, spring break ahoy~ Really, it's not much of a break. Thursday, Friday, and Monday off, but I will take what I can get right now. I have a heck of a lot to do. ~~(Like stop being a pussy and getting some lines done)~~

Today kind of sucked but for one thing. So at lunch, I sit with my brother and his Freshman "buddies." I don't like them too much at all because they're all pretty much dicks. 'Specially this one kid in particular: Mike. I don't know if I mentioned this in the past, but a few months ago, my little brother (who has yet to reach five foot and weighs just slightly more than I do) was yanked across a lunch table...over a frigging quarter. My brother was joking around, saying he was going to take this quarter he found on the ground, and Mike yanked my brother by the wrist to take the quarter, in the process pulling my brother into the table and halfway across it. Now, I know, I know. Boys will be boys. They rough around with each other all the time... But realize this is my baby brother. And that this Mike kid is twice his size.

The situation was handled...somewhat, and my brother hasn't been physically beat up around me again. (Mind you, the boy still gets bullied, but he really needs to start fighting his own fights. I don't know what I'm going to do with him.) I've been talking with his "buddies" a lot lately. Okay, so talking to them for me means verbally abusing them, but hey, what'cha gonna do? I can tolerate some of them now, but seriously... I don't like 'em.

Today, Mike brought in this plastic egg with Easter candy in it. He showed it off and then sat at the table. He turned his back to us to talk to some friends, and I looked at the egg for a minute. My brother read my mind and took it, but then he got nervous because he knows he shouldn't start trouble with this guy. So he put it back. I was immediately "Yeah right, as if, gimme that." And I shoved the thing in my lunchbox. Mike turned around...didn't even notice it was gone. Awesome. I was going to have fun with this. I tried to allude to it, bringing up topics like Easter and candy, but he wasn't all there. Excellent.

When he went to get his lunch tray, my brother's buddies were all "What are you doing?" because my brother and I had these huge grins plastered on our faces and we looked guilty. So I showed them the egg. They begged for the candy, and I figured "Hey, their funeral" so I let them have at it. Mike came back, and they all hid their candy. He still didn't notice it. I blatantly called him a retard and talked about how he wasn't noticing it (very vaguely, mind you - I'm not going to be dumb enough to admit the crime in bold-faced letters) while he ate his lunch. He then took his tray up and we all had a pretty good laugh as we mocked him. When he came back near the end of the lunch period, he pulled out all the other junk he had - Pepsi, a candy bar, lemonade...then he reached into his pocket. We held our breath, thinking he was going to finally figure it out...

He pulled out two cookies.

The lunch period ended, and he still had no clue. So I figured this: if you have candy and are dumb enough to leave it around your thieving friends, and then you don't even notice it's gone, you don't deserve it.

I'm taking the egg back on Tuesday, writing a note that says "Sorry sucker" and placing it in front of him when he has his back turned. I'm not much of a prankster, but this was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

Happy Thanksgiving...

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:27:04 GMT

Mm...well, Thanksgiving is here, and while I'm currently not in the mood to be super-uber-duber-happy, I do want to mention that I am incredibly grateful for the small things in my life right now. Most of all, I want to thank you guys that have been supporting me through thick and thin on this livejournal and on the VAA and everything... Really, it means everything to me when you guys just throw a kind word my way. I'm far from perfect, but I'd like to think that even so, I can consider you all my friends. If that's not the case, it's okay, too. Just hearing from you guys is enough. So thank you, even if you've only ever spoken to me once or maybe not even at all. Thank you.

hwh

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:18:40 GMT

And the award for best typo ever goes to...Rashinban! -rolls eyes-

But it inspired me for my character Chase. It's a running gag that she speaks like a cat running across a keyboard. "hwh" will now be one of her catchphrases when dealing with Kane. So...yay.

Rain has a catchphrase too, thanks to Skye. "Kick ass."

Now all we need is something for Boa... -taps chin-

This shall be thought on.

Anyways...I just wanted to post that despite all the negative feelings I've had over the weekend, I have finally managed a decent rough draft of the script to the scene for Aras and Eden! With the working title Wayward. I'm pretty sure it's just going to be Wayward, but I'm waiting to see if an epiphany will appear to change it. :/

I'm going to let Skye and Missy read it so that I can receive some feedback, and then I'll be holding auditions. Yay.

NaNoWriMo and Other Such Nonsense

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 03:42:45 GMT

So...today, I was bombarded with homework. I managed to finish the most of it, but I'm saving a couple of things for tomorrow to do during homeroom and work study. I just...don't want to deal with it right now. I practically started bawling when I finished the first assignment... And I feel so sick to my stomach from nerves... Ugh...

And of course...in the suckiest of moments, I start getting inspired. I've decided to once again attempt NaNoWriMo this year... It'll be my second year. Last year, I totally failed at it, but hopefully this year, I can manage. I just wish the ideas weren't coming to me at this moment. What I intend to do is write out Aras and Eden's entire backstory from childhood until they join the Pyrotes crew. I'm going to try and outline everything so that I have something to go off of when November comes around. Hopefully that'll help me as I chug along.

I also have a bunch of ideas for Raphael and Mozart. The problem is writing them...this story takes a lot more out of my own personal life than I'd like it to... Which is something that has always bugged me...

As a writer, is it wrong to write from experience? All of my characters tend to have some part of my real life incorporated into theirs... But...is that wrong? I mean, the way I see it, I have every right to do that because one, it is my story, and two, it makes the characters more real... But I can't help but wonder... does that mean that I'm not creative at all? Am I incapable of creating something from scratch? Does anyone else do this? And... I don't know. It depresses me. A lot. -sighs-

I'm hungry...

Overcoming Writer's Block

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:11:27 GMT

I am dealing with a most wonderful case of writer's block at the moment. I believe it's mainly because of my overt attention to my artwork. I wish I could concentrate on them all at the same time. But it looks virtually impossible. I need to learn to devote time to each and every part of my Art, but it proves to be difficult when I have to balance it with the infernal hellhole that takes up over eight hours of my day.

Nevertheless, I've recently managed to tweak my Raphael and Mozart story, which is still untitled. Originally, it was going to take place during Erin "Mozart" Hallow's Junior year of high school and lead up to the attempted murder in her Senior year, and she was going to be saved by the knight in shining armor, Raphael. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Raphael was much too...surreal. So I focused on making him more human. That's when I decided to change the beginning half of the story.

Instead of leading up to the attempted murder and meeting Raphael beforehand, Mozart is regretfully on her way to her Senior Prom with a friend when said friend is shot through the car window, resulting in a horrendous car wreck. Low and behold, Mozart magically survived flying through the windshield. Raphael, who has the ability to travel through space and time, had saved her just before her entire body was maimed to the point of no return. She then spends a period of time in the hospital, constantly being called by a detective and his son - the man credited as her savior - for interviews. One morning, when she awakes, her family, some doctors, and a mysterious man are murmuring about a murder that took place at her school. Someone had killed one of the students and used their blood to write on the walls a threat, asking for Mozart herself to be given away.

Refusing to give up their youngest daughter, her parents agree to have Mozart move in with her older sister, Mary. Popular, pretty, peppy Mary. The detective reveals himself as the mystery man and explains that he and his son will be moving into the same town to keep a close eye on her, and from this point on, she was virtually under the witness protection program.

Blah blah blah...a few other things happen...but that's the gist of the beginning. Anyways, to explain some new characters.

Names are Subject to Change

Mary Hallow is Mozart's older sister. She is very outgoing in comparison to Mozart and has always seemed to outshine her younger sister in everything that she does simply because of her bubbly personality. She seems to care for Mozart a lot but sometimes, it seems more like she's out for attention. She is also the object of Raphael's affections.

Taylor Jade "TJ" Bloom is Mozart's best friend. She moves in closer to where Mary and Mozart are living in order to provide moral support for her friend. She, like Mozart, has a rather strong dislike for Mary and is usually found trying to help Mozart get away from her sister whenever possible. Secretly, she is also working for the organization that Raphael is involved in. She has a very pleasant personality and acts as more of an older sister to Mozart than Mary does.

Victor "Frankenstein" Swan is the long-time friend of Raphael/Andrew. He has been living for almost two-hundred years and is one of the founders of the organization that has yet to be named. Dubbed Frankenstein by Mozart, he is rather jovial and extremely mature. Although he is over two-hundred years old, he takes on the appearance of a man in his mid to late-twenties, as he was born with the power of longevity.

Andrew Sanzio is the future "Raphael." He gives his current self the name Raphael in order to prevent any connection that they are one in the same person and takes on the role of his own father. Overall, this provides for some incredibly amusing conversations between the two Andrew's. He, unlike his current self, has a strong affinity towards Mozart.

Lucus Freeman is Mary's long-time boyfriend and the only one she's ever had that Mozart has ever approved of. He is undeniably devoted to her and will forgive her for anything, but he refuses to interfere with her attention-seeking charades, as he believes that doing so would keep her from learning her lesson. Mary has cheated on him several times, but each and every time, Lucus welcomes her back with open arms.

So now...a small excerpt from the new and improved plot of Raphael and Mozart - Title in Progress.

Tears in her eyes, she jumped off the ground and ran at his image, beating her arms against the spectral sight. "You idiot! I'm not worth saving!" she screamed, her voice cracking uncontrollably. "Why the heck did you do that? Stupid! You shouldn't have saved me! I should be dead!"

"You're right," came a voice from behind her. Mozart turned around to see an exotic and familiar-looking woman boring her eyes straight at her.

"Who are you?" she asked without thinking. Her instincts were screaming at her to run, but no part of her would move with that urge.

"The one who is going to set things right. Goodbye Erin Hallow."

"This is ridiculous! I can't believe this! His job was easy! Wasn't it easy? How can he screw up something that simple? 'Keep your eyes on the girl.' How damn hard is that? Huh? They can do it in fairy tales! Why is it so impossible for him to do it?" ranted a very irritated Victor Swan. TJ just nodded and made affirming noises as they gathered their things around the lab.

As she sensed the temporary close to his ravings, she shook her head with a heavy sigh. "I just can't believe she goes and gets herself killed again. This is practically her third time dying, you know? You'd think she'd have gotten the point that she's supposed to stay alive."

"Ugh! I know, right? It's like they can't hear a word we're telling them! In one ear and out the other! It's stubbornness I tell you. Stubbornness, stubbornness, stubbornness."

"Do you think that's everything?"

Victor checked over the computer a fourth time before confirming. "The machine's booted up and ready to go. When the continuum rips, you'll be able to get all the information we need, right?"

"Yep."

"Then let's go save her ass since he can't seem to do it himself."

They stepped into the towering apparatus and hit a button from the inside. As the door closed, Victor looked at TJ to ask, "Seriously, how can you screw something like this up? It's not that hard! ...Is it?"

"I dunno. Ask Mary. That's the only thing he seems to be screwing lately."

Silence. And then Victor sighed out of aggravation. "True."

In other news...I have script work that I need to work on. I guess, if all else fails, I can do that... I hope... Maybe. Bah.

We Have Our House Back

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:06:35 GMT

In the words of my brother, they're out of the house!

I think we've spent over an hour today just venting about how they terrorized the house. The couch was made out of dog hair, the refrigerator looked as though we threw the Tasmanian Devil in it, the house smelled of dog, I think I lost two pounds (which is bad when I weigh 91). Uncle John is Italian and loves to cook...thing is, he tries too hard to make big, fancy dinners....and I would have literally killed for just a nice roll and some mac and cheese. Seriously...hasn't the guy ever heard of a simple meal? He cooked every night but Friday night - we actually had pizza.

-sighs- But either way...they're gone, and it's just the four of us again. But of course - my little brother has to ruin the moment by throwing a temper tantrum. Ugh.

Whatever. I'm in the mood to write and draw again, but I have to go out driving here soon. Tomorrow's a half-day at school, so my brother and I are planning on recording lines for the Soul Eater fandub clip we're doing together along with BigT. I need to finish the script first, though.

Mrow. I dunno... I'm a little weirded out at the moment. Recently, I've been having a lot of dreams. It's strange... The past two have both been about the end of the world and stuff... And...in every one of the dreams I've had recently, there's always some tie to this guy...and...it's creeping me out. Because I don't even really know him. And...yeaaaaah. I usually don't have dreams. At least not bizzare ones like the ones I've had recently. As a kid, I used to...but...I haven't had dreams like this for a long, long ... long time. >.> Weeeeiiiirrrrd....

Yeah...I'm gonna...go write now. Bye people.

Just When I Think Maybe...

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:52:38 GMT

I am reminded of how small I really am.

I was feeling pretty decent today until I came across something that just...made me feel insignificant. I get this feeling a lot... And I just wish it would go away... I feel like I can never be a normal person, like I'm going to be unable to function in society. It's probably true...and I wish it weren't.

I feel so small...

Unsex Me Here

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 20:49:36 GMT

Have I ever mentioned that I love Shakespeare?

Okay... -heavy sigh- Today...no, this week...sucks. So the aunt and uncle came out last night, which mean my mother stayed up, WHICH, in turn, means I couldn't stay up and had to go to bed in order to keep my head. Was not thrilled about that. Then coming home today...turns out, Auntie and Uncle weren't here. Yay, right? Nope. Their dogs were... AND ONE BIT MY BROTHER.

I don't know... I love them to death, but really...do they have to leave their dogs here? Ugh. And the house is a mess...and they haven't even been here 24 hours!!!

Ugh...I don't know. Maybe I'll rant a little later. I feel just...crappy right now. Meh.

EDIT: I want out of this house now. I can't stand this. I may love my family, but I want out... I'm tired of this. I want to be alone.

I Quote Shakespeare to Annoy Children

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:32:16 GMT

I am such an awful person... I was in a really crappy mood - and there are these times when I'm in such a crappy mood that I get hyper. (I really do believe something is wrong with my brain...) And so when I got off the bus to wait for the second one to pick me up, I was there with my neighbors and my little bro [he's a freshman in high school now. gwah T^T]. So I just sort of started acting up...quoting Shakespeare in big voices with exasperated motions...and...yeah. Then when the second bus arrived, I got on and sat in a seat by myself surrounded by a bunch of kids - bad idea. You'd think I'd remember this after I was called a lesbian last year by these brats...but nope. I sat there...and they started bugging me... So I got really perky and asked "Do you kids want to hear some Shakespeare?" One kid answered obnoxiously yes... And I just started rambling it off.

-sighs- They're a bunch of snot-nosed punks, but I feel sorry for two of them. Their uncle hung himself in their own yard this summer...their older brother doesn't look too good. I'm a teacher's aide for one of his classes...the poor kid looks depressed. And the middle child, the sister...she looks like she's trying to hard. She's become twice as bratty as she was last year...as if to cope. I feel terrible for them. The little one doesn't seem to get it, but he did the same thing his sister did...

I finally finished my lines for Tinker_Jet's 5th episode of her Detective Conan radioplay. Hotmail sucks balls. I can' t attach anything more than 10 MB, and my lines are are about 15 MB...so I'm trying to use megaupload so that I don't have to send two e-mails like last time. I might have to get a new e-mail account, but really, that's just such a hassle. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do right now.

I have homework to do, of course, but thankfully, it's really simple stuff. I have to write a paragraph for Spanish, write another article for Creative Writing as well as come up with a timeline for something, and then I have some reading to do for College English. I'll do the Spanish and English tonight, but I think I'll save CW for tomorrow... It depends on my motivation, though.

I really just want to draw and write right now... My muse comes only when I have things that are necessary to do. Go figure, right? aowepruodk

I wish I could write on Birth of the Sun, though! Ugh... I don't want to sit and convert it all into a script...but... I'm beginning to debate on whether I should or not. I've been writing it in an episodic format because... in my head, the book progresses like an Anime. So I thought, why not write episodes instead of chapters? Thing is...it is my baby. I've been working on BotS since Summer 2006. Should I basically "trash" this "book" to make it into a series of scripted episodes? I don't know... I could write it as both...but recently, I just haven't been into writing actual stories... Most of my ideas are coming as dialogue...description has suddenly failed me. It's so weird. It almost feels like I've gone blind to visual details and have only the ability to comprehend auditory situations and ideas. I really don't pay much attention to what I see anymore...I noticed this over the summer. About how I'd rather listen to things than I would watch them... Ugh....I don't know.

Frustrations, frustrations, frustrations, frustrations, frustrations!!!! apowriu Take care everyone.

I'm Just Good At Worrying

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 14:36:17 GMT

My head is killing me right now. Had a hard time sleeping last night due to worrying. I do it a lot... Everyone's just being an idiot right now.

I'm not thrilled about this week. My aunt and uncle are coming to stay with us from Wednesday until Sunday, along with their two dogs. I don't mind their dogs, I just hate the fact that they're inside dogs. Ugh... And don't get me wrong, I love my aunt and uncle....I just don't see why they have to come while I'm in school. As if there wasn't enough stress in the first place.

I haven't had a chance to work on anything this weekend yet because of that... Having to clean up the house so it's decent when they come on Wednesday. I've got to work my butt off today and tomorrow now. Geesh.

Agh...I guess I had better head off. It's almost time for church.

TGIFT

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:51:41 GMT

Thank God It's Friday Tomorrow.

Seriously. This weekend I'm gonna be busy, busy, busy. Once I finish whatever homework I have, I have got to crack down on mixing Scene 01. ...and sending e-mails out to the cast of OP/SW. >.> I'm rather aware of some situations, but there are a few that I need to poke a little more, I guess. -sighs-

Tomorrow I also have to record lines for Tinker_Jet. T-T I would have this weekend, but with all the talking I did with Skye and sleeping under my fan, I caught another cold and lost my voice. You'd think I'd try and take better care of myself...but I've been so stressed lately that I just haven't been able to think about it.

-sighs- School was better today, but it was nowhere near tolerable. I don't know... I just can't concentrate lately... I finally managed to write another page to one of my scripts! But it still has five or more to go, I bet...depending on where I decide to go with it all. It'll be hard to find sound effects for it...

Geh... I need to do my homework...but I'll probably wait until the family goes to bed to do it. Mom stayed home today, and I hate concentrating on my homework with my parents around... It's easier when it's just my bro and me. So yeah...when they're asleepy sleep, I shall be a-working.

EDIT: Why in the HECK do guys make it a point to tell girls that they just got out of the shower? >///> -kicks AIM-

I Think Marriage Should Be Banned Until You're 30

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:57:33 GMT

"Because you're just too stupid to know what you're doing until then."

Thank you, Mrs. B. I officially love my Creative Writing teacher just because of that. Seriously, I could gag myself with a spoon the amount of times I've heard the crummy excuse that "I just don't want to die alone." It makes me bloody sick. If you think you're going to die alone, then get some bloody friends. I can't stand how people think just because they don't have a "lover" that they're alone. I had a boyfriend, and it was the loneliest time in my life. a;oeripuoiasdjf

And just because I don't like the idea of boyfriends and all of the bull crap that comes with it, doesn't mean I don't like guys! I like guys very much. In fact, there's a particular one that has caught my interest recently, but because he fits in the category that every other guy I've liked has (AKA: older than me, completely out of my league) I'm realistic about it. I'm just glad to talk to him every now and again... Nothing's going to happen, and it's no big deal to me.

Anyways...yeah. I got PO'd today because Kerns - this boy who crushed on me long ago and probably still does now - gets all uppity about my view on relationships and how one of my closest friends is in his thirties and still doesn't have a girlfriend. "That's sad. Is he going to die alone?" Heck no he isn't! He has his friends, at least! Sure...that's probably not his view on the matter...but it's mine.

fjpjklasgoijaweri

Anyways... I did not enjoy the day very much at all. I came home and talked to Mom about how my day went like usual. And one of the first things I said was "I'm an actor. I acted the whole day through." Because, really, that's what it felt like. I felt so fake...forcing a smile when all my thoughts were on other things and worries. Ugh...

For the first time in my entire life, I woke up late on the first day of school. I have never done that before. I always get those first day jitters that have me up at four in the morning, but instead, I woke up at seven. I honestly didn't care this morning. And I doubt it's going to change.

Urgh...I have such a headache right now it's not even funny. I want to draw....but I can't concentrate. oapruoijasdfoie

Oaoweiapoei

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:03:22 GMT

Chase-speak seems to be all I can write comprehensibly lately. I'm attempting to write my essay on Frankenstein, but I just can't word anything the way I want to. It's driving me off the walls. I have one stinking paragraph left to write - the bloody conclusion, but I just can't get the darned thing out.

Not to mention EVERYONE is talking about school starting. My friend, Ler, asked whether I was ready to go. Ugh. He's known me for years now, why bother asking that question?

And like heck I'm going to tell everyone that I don't want to see their bloody faces. That's just too mean. Argh.

oawpruooiwfjhapwoehpoweurf

I can't type right either. Like I said, Chase-speak is the only comprehensible thing, and Chase-speak isn't even a comprehensible language. It's just what happens when you throw your hands at the keyboard as if a cat were running across it.

Ugh. Screw the school, I have the urge to draw.

EDIT:
I have really never dreaded school this much. Ever. I used to be able to at least tolerate this coming day...but when Mom came home and just made one word mention to it, I started bawling. What is wrong with me?

The Last Day of Summer Vacation

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:30:27 GMT

So...tomorrow is the last day of summer vacation, and at this moment, I am feeling unbelievably depressed. I wanted to get so much done this summer, and...I didn't get to accomplish all that I had planned to do. This happens all the time, so you think I'd learn to stop setting such huge goals for myself... Alas, that is not the case.

What kills me most is the fact that I have to go back. ^^; Yeah, that doesn't make much sense, does it? But, no, the thing is... I just don't want to see anyone. Almost everyone I can think of wants to go back to school for at least one thing: seeing their friends... But for me...I couldn't care less. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends... I just...don't want to see them. Does that make any sense?

I feel sort of like I'm wasting my life away, too... You know, saying how badly I want out of high school for the above reason. This is my Senior year, and everyone's telling me to make the best of it. I should be enjoying the "last days of my childhood" but... I really don't know. I just hate my Senior class... Not hate, hate... I just...ugh. I'm not attached to it. Is this normal?

I don't want to rush myself through life. But I'm tired of this never-ending, redundant lifestyle. I feel so...secluded and desolate right now. I hate sitting here and writing about it. It makes me feel like all I do is whine, and really, I'm not some stupid emo kid craving for attention. Right now, I just really feel...awful.

Eh... Dinner time. Maybe I'll ramble on a little later... Depends on my mood...meh. Sorry.

Mefargle- Beyargolsmith

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 06:46:43 GMT

It's all fun and games until someone mentions Harry Potter Porn.

AGH!

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:50:04 GMT

I HATE BEING SO YOUNG!

String and Death Note

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:12:05 GMT

Ahhh... I FINALLY finished watching Death Note with my brother. It's a relief, but also, it's really sad that it's over. As expected, Near grew on me. I think that if he had looked less like L, I'd have liked him more in the beginning, but to me, it just felt like he was trying to be a hardcore copy and it ticked me off. -shrugs- But he earned my respect in the end.

But nowhere near as much as Mello. A lot of people didn't like his impulsive personality, I'm sure, but... I liked him. A lot. Sure, some of his actions were rather unnecessary, but... He reminded me of the older brother who didn't want to be outshined by the younger one, and I could relate to that. It's not like my brother and I are strictly competitive, but... I always feel like my brother has to win, and I could kind of relate to Mello in how he wanted to just do L's work by himself. He was an awesome character, in my opinion.

Also, my props to Aizawa and Matsuda - my two favorite police force members after Light's Dad's death. Matsuda, yes, was a dork, and he managed to annoy me sometimes simply because...watching him was reflective of part of me and highly embarrassing. Aizawa...man, he was in my tops from the beginning for the hair, but after he left the police force, he really made an impact on me. Just seeing his family and...awww. I was really glad to see how they played out in the last episode.

Also, Mikami...despite being freaking psycho and calling Light "god," he was an awesome character. I was disappointed with how he went out. And, boy, were those some really nasty shots of him near at the end. Those facial expressions...yuck. But I read a comment on veoh while watching the episodes about Mikami and how his phrase "delete" meant something more. It was about how he viewed humanity as worthless, corrupted files that had no further use, and thus, were necessary to be deleted. I think that was what made him stick out to me. You know, other than the glasses.

Also...MATT FTW. I was really disappointed that Mello's story wasn't elaborated on as much as Near's, but I guess that's what really made the last episode so epic. I just wish we could have seen some more from the M & M's.

Ohhh yes, and I cannot forget Gevanni. I really enjoyed his character. Not just because, you know, Sam Vincent voiced him, but because he was just awesome in stalking Mikami. Yes yes. Awesomeness.

However, no character in the world can ever beat:

RYUK

Oh my gosh, I am in love with this Shinigami. I just...man. Ever since I saw him, I was like... "HE'S SO CUTE AWWWWWW" and then he was all "Ohh. Apples are...how you say, juicy? hehehehe." And I was all "THAT IS SO FREAKING AWESOME! YAY FOR SPOOKY GUY WITH WINGS! I LOVE RYUK ARWEOIJR" and he was all "I was bored. I was hoping to find something...interesting." And I spazzed and went all... "COME SEE ME AND I'LL GIVE YOU INTERESTING! <3" And he was all... "o.O" around girls, and I was like "-squeals and faints-"

Yeah.

Seriously, though... Ryuk is amazing. So here's my list of epic characters from Death Note:

Ryuk
L
Watari
Soichiro
Aizawa
Matsuda
Mello
Matt
Gevanni
Near
Mikami

-sighs- I'm going to miss them. Must get movie when it comes out~ I don't care how sucky it is, I wanna see it.

Um...as for the string...I was bored. It was...interesting. ;)

Stuffy Nose

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:59:16 GMT

T-T I'm starting to get out of my funk, and just when I do, my nose gets twice as stuffy as before and I start to lose my voice. Ugh... I need to record Preston's last few lines and a new demo reel. As well as start mixing Scene 2. Need to get off of lazy butt and work.... Argh.

I'm starting to wonder if Mum really did update my Firefox. It's been acting up a lot lately, so I'm going to have to check that out once I watch this episode of One Piece. Preston's thinking of doing episode 348 and asked if I wanted to at least do Luffy for that episode. I kind of want to - I LOVE doing Luffy. It's just...fandubs are really difficult. His script rarely matches the lip flaps like it should... And it bugs me to no end. So I'm going to watch this and see how much I'd have to do as Luffy. If it's not too bad, I'll do it, but if not, I'm turning him down. Easy peezy.

Okay...so it looks like I'm doing it. XD I've got about 6 minutes of the episode left and it looks pretty simple, even if he messes up the script.

Anyways, Chin's finally released her lj to the public. Yay!

And I love how I usually write these journals like people read them when I'm sure they rarely do. XD Ah wells.

The Rest of My Summer Vacation

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:01:49 GMT

So I'm finally home for good now. I got back from GHA on Sunday, but I've been pretty depressed because of it.

GHA was probably the best experience of my life. It was the first time in a long time that I ever felt accepted - like I belonged somewhere. I made so many new friends there, and leaving there has really torn me up. I'm completely unmotivated, and I feel like I need to just stay in bed all day and sleep. I'm moping a lot, and I can't even manage to write a simple poem, let alone work on any of my stories. You'd think being mopey would at least inspire a poem, but no...it's not.

-sighs- GHA made me think a lot. For example, what I want to do with my career. I met a guy there - Arron - who became a great friend. He loved photography, and he sort of made me remember how much I loved it too. I'm starting to re-consider what I want to do when I get to college. I'm still going to major in Theatre, but I'm now considering double-majoring or minoring in Photography instead of Psychology. Because I had to face it, as much as I love helping and counseling people, I get worked up too easily. I let other peoples' problems get to me and it becomes a health hazard for myself. I had to make a goal for myself to start caring about my health because I'm underweight, I don't eat when I'm upset, and I have low blood sugar problems. With that being the case, I had to realize that maybe Psychology isn't the right choice for me.

It didn't just make me think of that, though... It also made me realize how close I am to graduating - how close I am to 18 - how close I am to becoming an "adult." I've spent so much of my life trying to get there to "adulthood" that I've been letting my "childhood" slip away. I mean, sure, I've always planned on "being a kid forever" in the sense that I'm never going to stop watching cartoons and acting like a total nutcase (that sort of comes with being a Theatre kid, though). But still... It kind of hurts me to look back at my life in retrospect because of the way I acted as a kid.

I've always been a rather pessimistic realist. I never liked being optimistic because it hurt more when you were let down. The higher the expectations, the harder you'd hit the ground when you fell. I hated, hated, hated putting my head too high in the clouds because I knew that when I came down, it was going to hurt. So I spent most of my time focusing on things that while, yes, they mattered, they could also have been balanced with things that weren't so...depressing.

-sighs- I don't know... I could ramble a lot more, but I kind of feel like I should keep my mouth shut at this point. I'm going to go and try to work on something. Take care everyone.

Taking a Moment to Rant

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:43:44 GMT

I just need to take a moment to rant about my big brother. He's not my real brother, but we acted like siblings and became that close. Well, the retard decided that he needed to get away from here and move to NC. Okay, I was upset. His real reason for leaving was beyond stupid, but I won't say it here because I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, and I'm not going to go back on my word. But honestly, I could deal with him being away. So what? My closest friends are in college and I rarely ever get to see them at all. I'm a big girl, I can deal, no matter how much I hate to do it.

Thing is, he tells me that he'll be able to talk to me even when he's away. He promised me we'd talk. Guess whaaat? I don't hear from the bloody moron for two months, and I am beyond PO'd. Then, all of a sudden, he pops up on MSN. And so I talk to him. I was mad at first. Because he didn't come straight out and say "I had Internet problems. I'm really sorry." (And it was hard to believe, seeing as he could update his Myspace every so often. Seriously, if he couldn't get on MSN, he could have at least left me a comment on bloody Myspace, saying "hey") Instead, he tried to act like everything was normal. It just made me more mad, and so I let him know it. He had hurt my feelings. So he gets mad at me and gets offline.

The next day, he finally talks to me again and apologizes. He tells me that he's back home because he couldn't get a job and that he had found a girl down in NC, so he was upset about that. I told him I was sorry for being mad, but I lectured him again, telling him that he was like my big brother and he needed to let me know that he was still alive.

Then he moves back down to NC and doesn't talk to me again for weeks.

He finally manages to get Internet or something and so I start talking to him again. He tells me he's back in NC, and I'm just "Oh." I mean, I still think he's being a moron, but whatever. So long as he talks to me...

Five bloody minutes into the conversation, he tells me, "Look, I can't talk to you anymore." At first I was like "Huh-Wha?" Then I thought, "Oh, maybe he's using someone else's computer..." So then he tells me that he's been an idiot and hasn't been making enough of an effort to be my big brother. He talks about how close we used to be, and then ever since he moved we just...stopped. Okay, no duh. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU STOP TALKING TO ME! I mean, seriously. If you're feeling guilty about it, start talking to me again. Don't sit here and try and give me some sort of sob story and expect me to shower you in pity. Honestly. I bloody hate it. DAMN IT. It's just so stupid! Not only is he acting as retarded as my ex-boyfriend, but it feels like he's using me. I just...ugh.

And while I'm at it... I leave for three weeks this Saturday, and I'm none too excited right now. I have to miss my Dad's birthday for this. Sure, it's scholarship money, and I get to see Tim, but...it's my Dad's birthday. I already feel like we've gotten separated, seeing as he's always so busy and I don't make the time to spend time with him like I should. And if anything happens to Pap while I'm gone, I'm not going to be able to come home to see him... I'm...depressed. -sighs-

WARNING: LONG, ANGRY, ANGSTY, AND DEPRESSING RANT.

To make up for that...here's a picture of me as a baby in my Grandpa's hat:

I miss you, Grandpa.

Oh...and just because this picture amuses me to no end...

First time I saw this, I thought my Dad was holding up another one of my dolls... Then I looked again, and I was all "Wait...that's me."

Been Busy

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:16:40 GMT

Really busy. -sighs- I just got back Saturday and really haven't been myself at all. I leave this coming Sunday for three weeks, and so I have a lot to do. Lines I owe people, some things to audition for, and my own radioplay. I just...don't know. I really, REALLY just want to sit back and draw all week long. Nothing else. I have so many ideas, but... I can't seem to get too many out. I'm kind of scared to try and draw these things. Grawh.

Anyways... CIY was awesome to an extent. I just loved the band. Caleb Miller Band. I hope their site updates sometime soon. Their guitarist/pianist, Mike, was Asian and hot. :3 I got his autograph and pictures. Actually, I got the whole band to sign the shirt I bought. And they're from, guess where? TEXAS. Ugh... I want to go there so badly. BigT, mippa, Teacher_Nine, Vic Mignogna...like, everyone is from Texas. Stupid big state. XP

And... I don't know. I wish I could be inspired. I have nothing important to say, so I'll just...leave. Byes. Take care everyone.

Dancing Through Life

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:23:23 GMT

One of the best songs from the Wicked soundtrack. :3 Fiyero is love.

Sorry I've taken so long to update. Ten days. -sighs- I've been really busy. Wednesday and Thursday of last week, school was cancelled due to water contamination. There was a tornado on Wednesday. I got Historian for the NHS on Tuesday. -shrugs- We had our finals on Friday. Not sure how I did. Today, Mom's supposed to get my report card. -sighs- She's not happy about the Music Theory because, apparently, my grade was completely wrong. I don't know. Then on Sunday, I went to RYLA and just got back yesterday.

I hated it, to be honest. The only good thing about it was the people I met. It was just so...stupid... We were supposed to learn to be "leaders" but what we really learned was that some frogs basically puke out their young. It was dumb. And then, for the final banquet, we were supposed to all get involved and all of this bull... So I said I'd put together a skit. I got together a group of people who said they were interested, we started planning a few things, and then, before I even realize it, they all drop out with the exception of Ariana, who helped me plan most of it. I was so PO'd. At the same time, I felt like I had failed as a director. It was a freaking waste of time! Ugh! I hated it!

And to add to my building irritation, right now, I have absolutely no idea what the bloody heck is going to happen next year with my Theatre class because the teacher taking the place of our old teacher was denied a renewed teaching license, so now it looks like we don't have a teacher. I don't know what I'm going to do without a Theatre class or Drama club next year! This freaking sucks!

-sighs- Enough with the rant... I have a ton of crap to do before I leave on Monday again. I need to record some stuff so badly, but my nose is stuffed right now. Gugh... -sniffle- I don't know. I'll be better by the end of the day, hopefully. Take care.