So...today, I was bombarded with homework.  I managed to finish the most of it, but I'm saving a couple of things for tomorrow to do during homeroom and work study.  I just...don't want to deal with it right now.  I practically started bawling when I finished the first assignment... And I feel so sick to my stomach from nerves... Ugh...

And of course...in the suckiest of moments, I start getting inspired.  I've decided to once again attempt NaNoWriMo this year... It'll be my second year.  Last year, I totally failed at it, but hopefully this year, I can manage.  I just wish the ideas weren't coming to me at this moment.  What I intend to do is write out Aras and Eden's entire backstory from childhood until they join the Pyrotes crew.  I'm going to try and outline everything so that I have something to go off of when November comes around.  Hopefully that'll help me as I chug along.

I also have a bunch of ideas for Raphael and Mozart.  The problem is writing them...this story takes a lot more out of my own personal life than I'd like it to... Which is something that has always bugged me...

As a writer, is it wrong to write from experience?  All of my characters tend to have some part of my real life incorporated into theirs... But...is that wrong?  I mean, the way I see it, I have every right to do that because one, it is my story, and two, it makes the characters more real... But I can't help but wonder... does that mean that I'm not creative at all?  Am I incapable of creating something from scratch?  Does anyone else do this?  And... I don't know.  It depresses me.  A lot.  -sighs-

I'm hungry...

So...tomorrow is the last day of summer vacation, and at this moment, I am feeling unbelievably depressed.  I wanted to get so much done this summer, and...I didn't get to accomplish all that I had planned to do.  This happens all the time, so you think I'd learn to stop setting such huge goals for myself... Alas, that is not the case.

What kills me most is the fact that I have to go back.  ^^; Yeah, that doesn't make much sense, does it?  But, no, the thing is... I just don't want to see anyone.  Almost everyone I can think of wants to go back to school for at least one thing: seeing their friends... But for me...I couldn't care less.  Don't get me wrong, I love my friends... I just...don't want to see them.  Does that make any sense?

I feel sort of like I'm wasting my life away, too... You know, saying how badly I want out of high school for the above reason.  This is my Senior year, and everyone's telling me to make the best of it.  I should be enjoying the "last days of my childhood" but... I really don't know.  I just hate my Senior class... Not hate, hate... I just...ugh.  I'm not attached to it.  Is this normal?

I don't want to rush myself through life.  But I'm tired of this never-ending, redundant lifestyle.  I feel so...secluded and desolate right now.  I hate sitting here and writing about it.  It makes me feel like all I do is whine, and really, I'm not some stupid emo kid craving for attention.  Right now, I just really feel...awful.

Eh... Dinner time.  Maybe I'll ramble on a little later... Depends on my mood...meh.  Sorry.